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Friday, 2 November 2012

Towards a healthier me

I have struggled with my weight all my life. I was chubby in Primary school, and through High School. I did lose 20 kg's during my senior years at school. I looked and felt great, but I worked hard to get there. 1 - 2 hours of exercise a day. Lots of points counting. I kept most of the weight off for a few years.

 I can't say I've tried every diet though, because I have always known that for me a 'diet' where I take away entire food groups would not work for me. I did try the Tony Ferguson shakes at one point. I was so hungry by the end of the week I would have happily eaten my own arm.

I have done some pretty full on personal training in the past. I worked so hard, yet the weight didn't come off very fast. I did get fit though, very fit. My personal trainer was puzzled. She couldn't quite work out why the weight wasn't shifting. I wasn't eating bad, and was working so hard. A trip to a dietitian was ordered. There I was told I had a slow metabolism and was a little insulin resistant. Nothing much could be done other than keep trying. I kept going until after my wedding. Then I stopped.

I was tired of caring. Tired of counting everything that went into my mouth. Tired of a life of restriction and worry. So I ate what I wanted. I ate too much. Exercised too little. My clothing size increased.

I fell pregnant. I was happy that I didn't put too much weight on through it. Until I went on maternity leave. The searing heat combined with incredible heartburn led to me eating too many ice creams and milkshakes. I had Abbie and sadly realized it wasn't all baby (she was only 6 pounds after all), it was mostly me! Boo!

I tried Weight Watchers. I did well for awhile, I lost 10 kg's, but I had about another 30 to lose. Then I just stopped. I again became tired of caring. What I didn't know was that life had some other plans.

I started getting a pain in my right leg. I thought it was shin splints or a muscle cramp from wearing shoes that were too flat and thin. I ignored it. The pain became worse. I still assumed it was a cramp and I popped painkillers. Until I could barely stand without being in incredible pain. Sitting caused pain. Sleep was non existent.  I even went and had a leg massage.

Finally I went to the doctor. After a series of tests I was diagnosed with a blood clot. A large clot that extended from behind my knee. I was put on injection and blood thinners. Most of all I was scared. I realised I could have caused a heart attack or a stroke (especially after having the massage, I think my doctor nearly fainted when I told her I did this).

After a trip to the specialist I was forced to face reality. I needed to lose weight. I needed to get healthy. I had a family history of diabetes and was heading towards being diabetic myself. My chances of more clots are higher with the more weight I carry. The specialist pointed out it wasn't about not being attractive  it wasn't about aesthetics  It was about being there to watch my daughter grow up. Really, what better motivation is there?

I have joined Curves and go 3 times a week. I like it because it is quick, it monitors how hard I work and gives me feedback. I have cut back on bread and pasta. I eat salads as often as possible. Snack on fruit and cottage cheese. I am feeling good. Great in fact

I realised that this time it is different. I haven't set myself a goal weight, although I would like to fit into a size 14 eventually.  I have no set time to achieve this. I am not focusing on a number on the scales. My goal is just to be healthy. Eat well. Drink water. Exercise often.

 I have no goal in mind other than living a long, full, healthy life.

I am working towards a healthier me. I am happy.

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